Rain~

It’s a rare grey & rainy day here.

The sound of the rain falling is a wonder.  I took a cup of tea to the porch and sat for a moment just to soak it all in.  A moment was all.  As it is in the low forties outside I did not stay long.

I listened to the rain fall, washing away the remaining snow, puddling in my brown sleeping garden.  Odd for February.  Usually we keep snow until March.

I came back in glad for the warmth.  Lit the candles and twinkle lights.  Waiting for the kettle to whistle.

I am making it a cozy day trying to simply sink in and enjoying the rare silence around me.  I am home alone, a wonderful treat for usually the house teams with life and sound.

I don’t know how much time I have left, but am savoring each moment.  Even better is knowing that my Sweetheart has the kids with him taking care of a task I was dreading to do later in the week.

The tea is ready.  Steam rising, I smile.  It’s a little life I live, but one as full of beauty as I can make it.

When everyone pours back in I will pour tea out for them all and smiles and kisses.  And I will be as glad of their return as I am of their temporary absence.  An afternoon of games and fun is planned.  Maybe a walk if the rain ceases.

I may have to bake something worthy of the day.  It seems like a day for chocolate chip cookies, doesn’t it?  Whatever I make will not matter as long as it is warm and sweet.

Honestly, grey days are ridiculously hard for me.  It is as though without thinking I absorb the ashen sky into my very soul and all is bleak.  Today I am actively fighting that feeling, desperately trying not to sink into the dismal day.

I am searching out the beauty, the life and clinging to a deep hope that reminds me the sun is still shining even if I cannot see it and that all is well even if a bit murky at the moment.  This is my life:  fighting to find the light in darkness.  Working to create the beauty in small things.  Focusing on the good, not the grey.

And so I sip my tea, play my music, breathe deep and smile to myself.

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